Missing LynK

Many of you know me as Linda. My family sometimes calls me Lyn. The first initial of my last name is K. I feel as though I'm missing from the family, hence the "missing LynK" title. Let me explain the missing part.

Now mind you, I just turned 43 and I feel like a little kid because of what I'm about to tell you. I will probably sound like it too. I've never really felt a part of the family. My eldest sister has put me down at what seems like every turn. My other sister acts like I'm invisible. There are only the 3 of us girls in the family, I am the youngest. Maybe I have the baby sister syndrome, I don't know. What I do know is how I feel and that is left out.

When my dad passed away my step-mom gave my sisters a box of my dad's things to go through and said we were all to go through them together and decide who would get what. They hand picked what they wanted and I got the left overs. So much for the togetherness.

I am now living with my mom. While I love my mom dearly I am often hurt by what she says and by what I observe. There are pictures of my eldest sister and her family around more so than my other sister but there's only ONE of myself and my family. Mom will proudly show me pictures of quilts that she's made and say, oh I made that and showed it such and such a place and then gave it to sister number 1. Then she'll say the same thing about something else and say she gave it to sister number 2. This happens over and over and over. My sisters know my mom's plans, I find out about them after they are happening or while they are happening. When I moved to my mom's I had no idea my sisters were coming to visit until two weeks prior and that's all my mom talked about. Then when they left that's all she talked about. She's so proud of them but I never once hear her talk about how proud she is of me. I don't want the material stuff. I want to be noticed. I want to be remembered. I don't want to be the missing LynK anymore. Even living here with her I'm still the missing LynK. The only reason I feel that she acknowledges I'm around so much is because I take the only mode of transportation for all my doctor appointments. My aunt moved out so my mom doesn't have anybody to talk to so now she has no choice but to talk to me. I feel like an after thought. I've moved up on the ladder, now there's one more picture of my family on the wall, it's a wallet size picture but at least it's there. Still, it's an after thought.