I can relate a lot to what your daughter is feeling, especially since I'm around the same age and living with my own mom. I suffer through mood swings, depression, anxiety, and suicidal thinking, among other things. My first advice is to seek professional help for your daughter and really encourage her to go. For many years, I struggled with my personal problems but was always too afraid and reluctant to see a counselor. My parents considered the thought, but I kept stopping them from taking me to a therapist. At the same time, though, I resented them for not forcing me into therapy.

Right now, I've decided to see a psychologist only because my personal conflicts have been escalating so that now I have to address these problems before everything falls apart. I don't want your daughter to wait until the last moment, address the situation now before the problems get worse. She'll probably reject the idea of going, but you should still push the option. Of course, you can't force her, but something has to be done. Maybe you could see a counselor yourself first to discuss the problem and get suggestions on how to help your daughter. Just ease into things.

As for the financial side, a lot of mental health services charge on a sliding scale, which means that they'll look at your income to determine what you can afford to pay. Hopefully, this will help you financially. For now, just be supportive and attentive to your daughter's behavior, especially if she's being suicidal. Look into professional help options as soon as you can. I wish you both luck with your search.

Hi darkness... I'm Vicky. I'm 57 and have lived with BPD for as long as I remember.. First let me say... THANK YOU for not abandoning your child. While you may become frustrated with her, she needs to know she can always count on you to be her biggest supporter. I had no support and no one to talk to growing up. I created so much turmoil that when I asked to get married at 17 my parents were more than ready to let me. I've spent 40 + years trying to find ways to cope. #1... Help your daughter find ways to relax and get control. When I'm very angry, physical activity helps. Take a walk or a run.. Learning to do deep breathing and self-hypnosis also helps. When she is having a good day, explore the idea of making a "crisis plan"...make a list if necessary and pull it out and look at it when the crisis is happening... maybe a soak in a nice bath.. music can help distract... Having a plan with positive activities can prevent us from doing negative behaviors... And see if she is willing to just get on here and vent her little heart out... I wish you well... Give your daughter a hug from one BPD to another... Hugs can work miracles sometimes.....

Dear Lone Goat and Vicki, Thank you so much for your support!! She has been in and out of counseling and programs for years, she started a new counselor last week, already skipped her appt, yesterday. She sleeps such crazy hours that it is so hard to make an appt that she will keep. I like that you said you resented your parents for not forcing you. I sometimes feel like that is what she wants too, but she wont do whatI say most of the time,She rules over me, for sure. I am so afraid to upset her because she gets upset and says she will kill herself ( she tried twice) so she kind of has me over a barrell, but I know half of her comments about killing herself are just habit, the other s arereal, she really does want to be dead, the pain is too much.
And I totally can relate to makeing the crisis plan when she is feeling ok, that is the best time to talk about anything. Otherwise she rejects everything that I say. She comes to me for help when the pain gets big, but there is nothing she wants to hear that I know how to say. I fumble around trying to say anything new, but ive said the things that I think would help often and she gets very upset by them so I dont have anything new. Then she feels like she cant be helped and gets worse. It is a nightmare as I am sure you know. I am so sorry that you both go through this too.It doesn't seem fair. The sweetest most helpful people are borderlines, I think. She would do anything for anyone in need, and look at you guys helping me. I will see if she wants to come on here and talk. I know she has tried other sites like this to vent, but have seen some mean people respond to her.It breaks my heart to see her reach out and then get more rejectionfrom stupid mean people. She just got to sleep so, I am going to go too. THANK YOU again for your kind words and encouragement. I will definately use your advice.I wish you the best of luck and am here if you want to talk, I can listen good, but I know you have heard all of the advice and have tried everything. But if you want an ear, I am more then happy to listen! xoxoxox Happy Thanksgiving. All the best to you both!

Keep trying and yes, have your daughter give this site a try. It really can be helpful talking to others dealing with the same issues. I hope you both get through this, since we're all here to lend a helping hand. Not only does it help others, but it also gives each of us greater insight into ourselves. Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Thank you! Do you have any trouble with people coming in here to be mean? I dont want to set her up to have people make fun of her, like has happened in other forums. She gets told to kill herself surprisingly alot, by people on chat rooms etc. it is awful how cruel some people are.
I hope you had a great Thanks giving!!

I'm guessing if anyone wants to get stupid and cruel, there are several of us here that will verbally kick their ass...

I'm guessing if anyone wants to get stupid and cruel, there are several of us here that will verbally kick their ass...

That's all I could hope for, that someone would have her back, and I KNOW she would have yours!! I am so glad I found you guys. If there is anything I can do, that you ever want to talk about, let me know. I will be here. I understand and offer my support in anyway possible.
xoxox

That's all I could hope for, that someone would have her back, and I KNOW she would have yours!! I am so glad I found you guys. If there is anything I can do, that you ever want to talk about, let me know. I will be here. I understand and offer my support in anyway possible.
xoxox

Yeah, so far, no one has been abusive or rude to me, and I haven't seen anything hurtful or insensitive on the discussions here. The worst thing I've seen are junk advertisements that get posted in people's discussions, which I think are rude enough in themselves. But you can just flag them as offensive and the site will work to remove them. I'm here to help.

Darkness,
Let me just say that I really wish I had a mother like you. Growing up like a lot of us here, I had no support of my family. SO many parents just abandon their children emotionally because they think their mental illness is just too much to handle. This is the easy way out and is so hurtful to the child. The best thing you can do is exactly what you are doing, just love her and be there for her. You can't make her see the light, she has to find it on her own. I can tell you that it really can get better though. I am around your daughter's age and even though my situation is very different as I am married and living in a completely different state than my family, I have learned so much over the years about my mental illnesses and found happiness. I truely believe your daughter will come out on the other side of this cruel illness seeing as though she has such beautiful people around her. Just give her hugs and kisses, I can't even tell you how much I wished for that during my childhood. You are a wonderful mother.

That is really sound advice. I've just recently realized that same truth myself, that I have to solve my own problems and find my way. I'm glad that I'm now taking steps to improving myself.

Thank you brycees Momma, I sooo appreciate hearing what you said. We just talked today and she said she cant imagine anything good enough to live for coming in the future. She said even if the best thing in the world happened she sti;ll doesnt think it is worth one more day of apin. She is worse now then ever, and I am very very afraid for her.
I feel like she needs to go to the hospital but she doesnt want to go, and I TOTALLY understand. She was in so many when she was either suicidal or had attempted suicide, none of them helped her, she just felt angry and more hopless. Most all hospitals here or on my insurance are mainly for addiction or alcohol, there are dual disgnosis programs but still they revolve around an addiction of some sort and not directed at her, she feels like it is a waste of time as well as she comes out feeling even more alone because people arent relative to her problem.
Has anyone had any sucess with hospital programs or any med combos that work? When she os this bad, she she cant turn her thoughts from doom and death. I heard her begging for a miracle tonight alone with her sobs. I wish so badly that there could be one!
Thank you for your time to write me. It was so kind! And i am so happy to hear that you found happiness. One of her woprst problems is that she feels so unattractive, she os overweight and has bad acne, soshe doesnt even want to go out much but she does try, and its too hard to make a freind just by going to a store or talking a walk, but she is too insecure to try going to a meeting or volunteering or anything like that. it is a bad situation and I can relate to her hoplessness. She told me today that ever girl wants to feel pretty and have friends. She is RIGHT! I dont know what to say to her, i tell her she is pretty (and she is) but that is just a mom talking, she doesnt beleive it or want to hear it. She has an older sister who is perfect, has the beautiful looks, clear skin, 7 year relationship, good job, you name it. That makes it worse for her too. Oh my gosh I am falling apart. My dear girl is just sleeping now, we have been up for 24 hours, so I am going to try to sleep now too.
Thanks again for listening and all of your advice. It is comforting that people care and want to help.